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"A traveler nearing a great city asked a woman seated by the wayside, 'What are the people like inthe city?'
'How were the people where you came from?'
'A terrible lot', the traveler responded. 'Mean, untrustworthy, detestable in all respects.'
'Ah,' said the woman, 'you will find them the same in the city ahead.'
Scarcely was the first traveler gone when another one stopped and also enquired about the people in the city before him. Again the old woman asked about the people in the place the traveler had left.
'They were fine people; honest, industrious, and generous to a fault. I was sorry to leave', declared the second traveler.
Responded the wise woman: 'So you will find them in he city ahead'."
Dear Atria, this is a little story from the book Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul. I like this story as it teaches us a very simple true about our perception of life and how this perception changes everything. People are different, majority of them are good, kind and helpful, but there are some not very nice people wishing bad things for others and carrying only about themselves. If we think only about these bad people we will see the world as a sad and miserable place, but if we think good of people, good people will find us and the world will be a heaven. There are many wonderful people in this world, believe me my dear Atria - I hope you will find them on your path of life.
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas filled with joy, love and happiness surrounded by family and friends. I am sorry I am not allowed to share this happy season with you, but I hope we will celebrate together many Christmases in future.
I am sure your Mum and the rest of the family made you feel loved and special, as you are and always will be.
So... have you decorated Christmas tree this year my dear Atria? How did it look like? Did you make any decorations yourself? I would like to see it. You can see our Christmas tree in the photographs below. We made some of the decorations ourselves and it was a great fun. Even Whisky had his sock hanged on the Christmas tree for Santa to fill up with gifts, and you know what... Santa brought him a little something :-)
We celebrated Christmas this year with our Polish friend Dorotka, and our English friends Tommy & Pam, so we had people from three different cultures and traditions around the same table. I think this is the whole beauty of celebrating Christmas - unity and people being together despite of their differences.
In many cultures Christmas is also seen as a time of forgiveness and giving, being kind to others, helping those who are less fortunate than we are, time of sharing. Anna always sends cheques at Christmas to two charities - one is a charity that helps the homeless people and the other one helps people rebuild their life after conflict. Even if you don't have much there are many who don't have even that little and who also, as every human being want to be happy.
I hope you are happy and you also remember about those who are less fortunate.
Happy Christmas my Little Princess!
Have you started your preparation for Christmas?
I thought there is still plenty of time to Christmas, but actually it is coming soon. I didn't use to celebrate Christmas almost at all as it isn't Zoarastians' festive season and I didn't really care about it that much. But you know what - people are happy, and excited about Christmas and it brings lots of joy, so why not to join and be happy? Anna comes from Christian family and she has been celebrating Christmas every year her whole life, so she brings a Christmas spirit to our family. On Saturday I put up Christmas tree (you can see me in a process of doing it in the picture) and Anna and her friend Dorota decorated it. It looks very nice - I will post some pictures of fully decorated tree some other time. Have you decorated your Christmas tree dear Atria? I am sure it will be beautiful. I hope we will be decorating Christmas tree together soon. Love you.
I am not alone anymore - I've joined a fantastic organisation offering a lot of support and advice to people like me, people who have been denied the right to see their children. They or rather I should say now WE are called Fathers 4 Justice.
For over a decade, Fathers 4 Justice has fought to ensure fathers play a fundamental role in the parenting of their children after parents separate. With the support of tens of thousands of fathers, mothers, grandparents and even children, they have campaigned to ensure that the best parent for our children is BOTH parents.
I have red lots of life stories of other members and I feel now that I am no longer alone. I am never going to give up on you and even if I don’t achieve anything now I hope one day you yourself will like to invite me to your life again.
Below I copied some views of my fellow members from Fathers 4 Justice Facebook support group. When I read this sort of comments I see that other people are in the similar situation and they don’t give up fighting for their right to spend time with their children, and as Martin said it should be ‘a GOD GIVEN RIGHT’.
"I have just joined Fathers4Justice and as a Single Father I am totally sick of the so called Justice system that ALWAYS sides with the mother. It has to be shown that it takes more than one person to make a child. I am running in the great Glasgow Scottish run on 4th September to raise awareness for Single Fathers. All I can say is I WILL NOT GIVE UP! It should be a GOD GIVEN right to spend time with your child and I will NOT be pushed away any longer. Seriously people that use their own children as a weapon. This is surely a crime in itself?" Martin Johnstone
"I am really pleased that the women who recognise and understand that fathers/grandparents/children are suffering because of the discrimination and injustice currently operating in family law courts are beginning to raise awareness and take action! Men are often perceived to be aggressive when they defend their rights (just because they are a man!) and if it takes women to defend these men to demonstrate that these assumptions should be dismissed then they need to help/support this campaign! Mothers & Fathers should be respected/treated with equal importance (neither is secondary); without either parent being able to manipulate the system legally or financially to their favour/advantage for their own particular needs. Too many women are looking for financial handouts from fathers to support their own life styles and it is wrong to use children to achieve this (they can find other ways to financially secure their own future if they try!). The children deserve the chance to have a relationship with both parents even if the two adults cannot be together. It is not always easy to achieve this; but in a previous relationship I managed it and I am evidence that it can be done for the sake of the children!" Luci Brown
I am your dad Atria.